Protec ng Yourself: Domes c Violence Informa on Handbook

Transcription

1 Rutgers Law Schl Dmestic Vilence Prject Prtec ng Yurself: Dmes c Vilence Infrma n Handbk Camden Cunty Editin September 2011

2 Alchl and Drug Abuse Addic n Htline f NJ Alchlics Annymus Rutgers Law Dmes c Vilence Prject Rutgers Schl f Law Camden 217 Nrth Fi h Street Camden, NJ Website: rg.law.rutgers.edu/-dvp Telephne: Ala-Nn and Ala-Teen Camden Cunty Alchl Abuse Prgram Center fr Family Services - Vrhees NHS Human Services Area Hspitals & 24-Hur Emergency Care: Kennedy Health System (J.F.K.) Stra rd Cherry Hill Virtua West Jersey Hspitals Rutgers Law Dmes c Vilence Prject grants permissin t reprduce this pamphlet s lng as this page s infrma n appears with any ther tle page infrma n. Vrhees Camden Marltn Cper University Hspital Cper Our Lady f Lurdes ii 35

3 Financial Assistance: Welfare: Emergency Financial Assistance Mn. -Fri. 8 am-5 pm Evenings & Weekends Fd Stamps Emplyment Camden Cunty Resurce Center Juvenile Resurce Center Mental Health Services Suthern NJ Behaviral Health Resurces Steininger Center - Cherry Hill Kennedy Hspital 24-Hur Htline HELP Center fr Family Services Vrhees Hispanic Health & Mental Health Asscia n The Rutgers Dmes c Vilence Prject thanks the fllwing rganiza ns, which cntributed t the prepara n and publica n f this bklet: Rutgers Schl f Law Camden The New Jersey Divisin f Criminal Jus ce/vawa The Duluth Prject Alianza, Rutgers Schl f Law Camden La n Law Student Organiza n Cathlic Scial Services Office f Yuth Services Crisis Unit, Our Lady f Lurdes NJ AIDS Htline NJ Child Abuse Htline iii

4 Supprt Grup/ Cunseling Services: Family Cunseling DV Survivrs and Ba erers Michelle Walsh SERV- Sexual Assault Vic ms Center fr Family Services Cunseling Crisis Ctr.- Screening fr Hspitaliza n Camden Cunty Wmen s Center 24-Hur Outreach Cares Ins tute (frmerly Center fr Child Supprt) Suth Jersey Behaviral Health Jewish Family & Children s Service Cathlic Chari es Hispanic Family Center Star ng Pint Shelter: Camden Cunty Wmen s Dmes c Vilence Shelter Vlunteers f America Referral Service fr Hmeless Shelter Hmeless Preven n Adult Prtec ve Services Husing iv 33

5 Legal Aid Rutgers Dmes c Vilence Clinic Camden Ctr fr Law & Scial Jus ce Suth Jersey Legal Services Camden Cunty Wmen s Center Vic ms Advcate Camden Cunty Bar Asscia n Lawyer Referral Service Abut Us: The Rutgers Schl f Law Camden Dmes c Vilence Prject Since 1995, law students at the Rutgers Schl f Law Camden have prvided legal infrma n t plain ffs in Camden Cunty seeking restraining rders. We are cmmi ed t helping stp the vilence in ur cmmunity and t educa ng the public abut dmes c vilence. This bklet is intended t be easy t use fr nn-lawyers. Vic m s Crime Cmpensa n Bard Prsecutr s Office, Office f Vic m Witness Advcacy: Main Number Mary Kay Baker, Dmes c Vilence Cunselr Linda Burke, Crdinatr Camden Cunty Hall f Jus ce Family Part If yu are in Camden Cunty and believe that yu are in a rela nship where there is an unhealthy exercise f pwer and cntrl by a spuse, husemate, family member, r da ng partner, and yu wuld like legal infrma n abut dmes c vilence, please call ur prject t speak with a law student vlunteer at Yu will als find ur law students at the Camden Cunty Hall f Jus ce Tuesday-Thursday mrnings. Infrma n abut the Prject, and a link t an electrnic versin f this bklet, is available at: rg.law.rutgers.edu/-dvp. Divisin f Yuth and Family Services Mn. t Fri. 8am-5pm Camden Central lcal ffice Child Abuse Ht-line

6 A Basic Safety Planning Guide If yu are a vic m f dmes c vilence r are afraid that yu may be harmed, yu shuld prepare a plan t keep yurself and yur children safe. Take me nw t think abut yur circumstances s that if yu find yurself in a threatening situa n, yu and yur children can leave safely and quickly withut panic and cnfusin. Safety While Yu Are In a Rela nship If an argument seems unavidable, try t have it in a rm r area that has access t an exit and nt in a bathrm r kitchen r anywhere near weapns. Prac ce hw t get ut f yur hme safely. Iden fy which drs, windws, elevatrs, r stairwells wuld be best. Pack a bag f clthes fr yurself and yur children and keep it hidden in yur hme. If yu think it is nt safely hidden in the hme, leave it with a trusted rela ve r friend. Keep a list f imprtant telephne numbers in yur bag. The list shuld include the telephne numbers f trustwrthy friends and rela ves as well as lcal shelters. Make plans fr where yu will g if yu need r want t leave hme. Cntact yur lcal shelter t get infrma n abut their services. Iden fy a neighbr yu can tell abut the vilence. Ask the neighbr t call the plice if any strange nises are heard (break-in nises, shu ng, screaming, gunshts, etc.) cming frm Appendix B Imprtant Phne Numbers Htlines and Emergency Services: 24-Hur Statewide DV Htline (Bilingual and TTY) Camden Cunty Wmen s Shelter Rape Crisis r SERV-Sexual Assault SERV New Jersey Htline fr Alchl Abuse Services Divisin f Yuth and Family Services-Child Abuse Htline Child Supprt Htline Divisin f Disability Services Scial Services and Welfare Services Lcal Evenings and Weekends Camden Cunty Wmen s Center Vic ms Advcate Lawyer Referral Service Vic m s Crime Cmpensa n Bard

7 yur hme. Arrange with yur neighbr that if they call and yu dn t answer the phne, r yur abuser answers and says yu re all right but can t cme t the phne, the neighbr will call the plice (9-1-1) immediately and tell them abut the dangerus and pssibly life-threatening situa n. Think f a cde wrd t use with yur children, family, friends, and neighbrs when yu need help frm the plice. Use yur wn ins ncts and judgment. Yu have the right t prtect yurself un l yu are ut f danger. Safety When Preparing t Leave a Rela nship: Have Resurces Available Open a savings accunt in yur wn name t establish r increase yur independence. Try t keep it at a different bank than the ne the abuser uses. Leave mney, extra keys, credit cards, imprtant dcuments, and extra clthes with a trustwrthy friend r rela ve. Determine wh wuld be able t let yu stay with them r t lend yu mney. Keep change, calling card, r cell phne with yu in case yu need t make emergency phne calls. Try t use a phne that the abuser cannt trace. 30 3

8 Review yur safety plan en s that yu knw the safest way t leave yur abuser. The risk f vilence may increase when yur abuser knws yu are leaving. This is ne reasn a shelter whse lca n is kept cnfiden al may be a gd shrt-term chice. Checklist f Items t Leave With: O Passprt, driver s license, and aut registra n Birth cer ficate(s) and Scial Security card(s) Mney, credit cards, and bank inf Huse and car keys Lease r rent agreement Schl recrds, insurance papers, and medical recrds Medica ns Address bk Marriage cer ficate and/r divrce papers Tax infrma n, partner s pay stubs Welfare iden fica n Green card and/r immigra n dcuments Wrk permits Favrite tys r bks fr the children Jewelry and ther small valuables 4 29

9 Internet Safety WARNING: Taking all f the ac ns n this page may nt prevent an abuser frm discvering yur and Internet ac vity. The safest way t find infrma n n the Internet is t g t a safer cmputer. Sme sugges ns wuld be yur lcal library, a friend's huse r yur wrkplace. Other safety sugges ns: Change yur passwrd en, d nt pick bvius wrds r numbers fr yur passwrd, and make sure t include a cmbina n f le ers and numbers fr yur passwrd. Hw an abuser can track yur cmputer ac vi es If an abuser has access t yur accunt, he r she may be able t read yur incming and utging mail. Even if yu believe yur accunt is secure, make sure yu chse a passwrd he r she will nt be able t guess. (If an abuser sends yu threatening r harassing messages, yu can print and save them as evidence f this abuse. These messages may als cns tute a federal ffense. Fr mre infrma n n this issue, cntact yur lcal prsecutr r United States A rney's Office.) Histry/cache file: If an abuser knws hw t read yur cmputer's histry f cache file (autma cally saved web pages and graphics), he r she may be able t see infrma n yu have viewed n the Internet. Yu shuld take steps t erase yur histry. Fr infrma n n hw t d this n different brwsers, see ncadv.rg/ prtectyurself/internetsafety.php. Remember, even erasing yur histry may nt cmpletely hide yur tracks. Many brwser types have features that display recently visited sites. The safest way t find infrma n n the Internet wuld be at a lcal library, a friend's huse, r at wrk. Infrma n n this page is frm the web site f the Na nal Cali- n Against Dmes c Vilence, which can be fund at the link listed abve. 28 5

10 Safety and the Phne: Stay Annymus Screen yur calls and let them g t vic . Any recrded threats may pssibly be used as evidence f vila ns f yur restraining rder. Yu may need t change yur telephne number. Safety fr Teens in Abusive Da ng Rela nships Decide which friend, teacher, guidance cunselr, rela ve, r plice fficer yu can tell but yur situa n. Cntact an advcate t find ut hw t get a restraining rder and make a safety plan. O Call a dmes c vilence htline t get infrma n abut yur chices. 6 27

11 Cn nuum f Abuse Safety A er Obtaining a Restraining Order Abuse tends t get wrse Physical Death pushing, punching, slapping, kicking, thrwing bjects, chking, using weapns, hmicide/suicide Em nal Suicide name-calling, cri cizing, ignring, yelling, isla n, humilia n Sexual Rape grabbing, grping, pinching, caressing, fndling, spanking Withut sme kind f help, the vilence usually gets wrse. Death can always be the result. Keep a cpy f yur restraining rder n yu at all mes. Make sure a cpy is n file with yur lcal plice department. Leave cpies with yur children s schl, day care, r baby-si er as well as trusted neighbrs and nearby rela ves. Prvide a cpy t the security guard where yu live r wrk. Change the lcks n yur drs immediately. Buy addi nal lcks and safety devices t secure yur windws (including the garage, basement, and pa drs). If yu have an alarm system, change the entry cde and emergency passwrd. Install m n lights utside. Add a security system t yur car r buy a steering wheel lcking device. Discuss a safety plan with yur children fr when yu are nt with them. Make sure they knw hw t dial t call the plice. Teach them their wn telephne number and area cde, their address, and yur full name. Infrm yur children s schl, day care, etc., abut wh has permissin t pick up yur children. Tell yur neighbrs and landlrd that yur partner n lnger lives with yu and that they shuld call the plice if yur partner is seen near yur hme. 26 7

12 Preparing fr a Final Restraining Order Hearing FRO hearings are held at the Camden Cunty Hall f Jus ce (Curthuse) at 101 Suth Mickle Street in Camden (n the crner f Fi h and Mickle Sts.). As yu get ready fr the hearing, yu shuld make sure t: Review yur cmplaint. Sme mes Temprary Restraining Orders cntain substan al errrs r missins. Because f the rushed nature f the Temprary Restraining Order prcess, law enfrcement agents en d nt include many details f the abuse. If yu need t crrect r include mre infrma n, yu will need t amend the cmplaint. The prcedure fr amending the cmplaint is utlined beginning n page 11. Appendix A Dmes c Vilence Wheels Since the early 1980s, the Duluth Dmes c Abuse Interven- n Prject (DAIP) has cnducted extensive research n the psychlgy f Dmes c Vilence. As part f their findings, and their prgram fr escaping the cycle f vilence, the DAIP has published several visual aids shwing the cyclical nature f these abusive rela nships. Included in this manual are several f these visual aids, detailing the typical methds pwer and cntrl abusers exhibit, the characteris cs f equality in a healthy rela nship, the cycle f vilence, symptms f child abuse, and characteris cs f gd child nurturing. Gather all the dcuments and/r physical evidence yu will need t bring t the hearing. The dcuments and evidence might include: Vic s n yur cell phne Trn clthing Medical recrds Plice reprts (in rder t put these int evidence, the fficer wh wrte the reprts must be present fr the hearing) Pictures shwing the harm dne t yu r yur belngings by the defendant Actual items brken by defendant (if small enugh t bring int curt) Witnesses wh can tes fy if they actually saw the incident r yur injuries Prepare yur tes mny. See pages 14 & 15 fr a descrip n f hw t prepare fr yur tes mny at the hearing. 8 25

13 If yu are le withut a restraining rder, it is s ll imprtant t prtect yurself as much as yu pssibly can against the defendant. Yu can always file a new cmplaint if mre abuse ccurs. It is a very gd idea t make a safety plan t prtect yurself. If the defendant cmmits anther act f dmes- c vilence, yu shuld call the plice and reprt it. If yu file fr anther restraining rder, the judge will nte in the file that yu previusly a empted t receive a restraining rder and will take that int cnsidera n. The judge must legally cnsider the histry f abuse. Arrange fr childcare fr the day f the hearing. Yu may be at the curthuse all day, s yu shuld arrange fr childcare fr yur child(ren). Yu shuld als make arrangements fr a erschl care fr any f yur schl age children, as yu may s ll be at the curthuse in the a ernn. Seeking an A rney If yu want and can affrd an a rney, cntact ne immediately. If yu cannt affrd a lawyer, the Rutgers Dmes c Vilence Prject may be able t refer yur case t a legal aid grup. Keep in mind that yu may prceed t trial withut an a rney if yu wish. If the defendant cmes t the hearing with an a rney, yu have the right t ask fr a pstpnement s that yu can seek an a rney s assistance. Yu can ask t speak t ne f the Rutgers students fr a pssible referral t free legal services. We cannt guarantee yu a lawyer, but we can discuss yur p ns with yu. At the Curthuse On the day f yur FRO hearing, yu will be required t g t the secnd flr f the Camden Cunty Hall f Jus ce. When yu arrive, yu will check in at the large desk near the windws. If yu received yur Temprary Restraining Order frm a plice department, the recep nist is likely t give yu frms t fill ut: 1) Cntact Infrma n fr thse plan n seeking a final restraining rder. The frm includes a general infrma n sheet. If yu have children, the curt staff will als ask yu t fill ut paperwrk regarding child supprt. OR 2) Affidavit fr thse cnsidering dismissing the restraining rder. If yu want t dismiss yur restraining rder, the curt staff will ask yu t write dwn the reasns why yu want t dismiss the restraining rder. 24 9

14 Amending Yur Cmplaint: If yu need t crrect r include mre infrma n, yu will need t amend the cmplaint. Yu need t amend yur ini al dcuments if yu want the judge t listen t tes mny abut ther incidents yu did nt riginally include. Otherwise, the judge may nt let yu bring it up at the hearing. The defendant has a right t knw in advance generally (nt specifically) what yu will be talking abut, s it is yur respnsibility t at least list the acts yu will want t tell the judge abut in the hearing. First, let the curt staff knw (usually the persn wh yu check in with at the desk) that yu wuld like t amend yur cmplaint t include incidents that are nt described in yur temprary rder. Next, the curt staff will prvide yu with an affidavit. On this sheet describe the addi nal incidents yu want the judge t cnsider in the FRO hearing. Again, it is imprtant t list the incidents frm the mst recent t the ldest prviding dates r me frames f the incidents. Yu may want t amend the TRO cmplaint t include addi- nal incidents invlving acts f dmes c vilence. New Jersey s Preven n f Dmes c Vilence Act defines the fllwing as acts f dmes c vilence: Enfrcement f Curt Orders Any rder that the judge grants regarding child supprt and custdy is a civilly enfrceable rder. If the defendant des nt fllw the rder, yu may file a m n at the cunty curthuse t enfrce yur rights. Yu may als file a m n t adjust child supprt if the financial circumstances f either yu r the defendant changes significantly. Als, if the visita n yu agreed t at the FRO hearing is nt wrking ut, yu can file a m n t have the visita- n plan changed. If yu have a lawyer, the lawyer can file the m n n yur behalf. If yu d nt have a lawyer, yu shuld btain a pr se m n packet frm yur Family Curt. Carefully fllw the direc ns and prvide all the infrma n requested in the packet. The m n shuld detail the parts f the judge s rder that the defendant failed t fllw r the change in circumstances. Yu will be given a date and me t appear befre the judge, wh will hear yur m n. If Denied a Final Restraining Order: Appealing the Decisin If the judge denies yu the Final Restraining Order, yu s ll have legal p ns. Yu may appeal the judge s decisin if yu have evidence that was discvered a er the hearing, r if yu believe the judge misread the law. The curt staff can help yu fill ut a packet t appeal. Yu shuld keep in mind, hwever, that n ne can prmise that the higher curt will verrule the judge s decisin

15 A er the FRO Hearing If yu are granted a Final Restraining Order: Wait fr the curt t give yu a cpy f the judge s rder. Bring ne cpy t yur lcal plice department and have a cpy fr yurself. The curt will als make sure that the defendant receives a cpy. Give cpies f the FRO t yur emplyer, yur child s principal/schl, childcare prvider and t anyne else yu believe needs t knw. Vila ns f the FRO The judge will specify in the FRO what kinds f cntact the defendant is frbidden t have with yu. A vila n ccurs if the defendant makes any cntact with yu that is nt permi ed in the rder. Fr example, if the defendant cmes t yur dr t pick up the children when curbside pick-up has been rdered r cmes t pick up the children at a day r me that visita n has nt been rdered, the FRO has been vilated. Knw what kinds f cntact the rder prhibits, and reprt any vila ns t yur plice department immediately. Acts that qualify as dmes c vilence under the NJ Preven n f Dmes c Vilence Act include: 1) Harassment: examples include repeated use f abusive language abut yu r t yu; repeated annying r frightening phne calls, especially at dd hurs f the night r when the defendant knws yu can t talk because yu are at wrk r in class; frbidding yu frm seeing yur friends r family; repeatedly arriving uninvited at yur hme r place f wrk and causing truble fr yu. 2) Stalking: fllwing yu in persn, repeatedly calling r requiring yu t call t make sure he r she knws where yu are at all mes. 3) Terrris c Threats: threats f extreme vilence against yurself, yur friends r yur family 4) Assault: actual physical and ffensive tuching such as kicking, pushing, shving, hi ng, r hlding 5) Criminal Mischief: destruc n f yur prperty: tearing phnes frm the wall, keying yur car, breaking dishes, lamps etc. These things are especially relevant when dne in frnt f yu, as a methd f in mida n. It is as if the abuser is saying Lk, I culd d this t yu. 6) Criminal Restraint: lcking yu in a rm r car, making it impssible fr yu t leave a place by taking yur car keys, r making it impssible t leave because yu are afraid f vilence

16 Other acts cvered under New Jersey law are: 7) Hmicide (a empted) 8) Kidnapping 9) Sexual Assault 10) Criminal Sexual Cntact 11) False Imprisnment (i.e. being lcked in a rm against yur will r prevented frm leaving smewhere) 12) Burglary 13) Criminal Trespass (breaking and entering r remaining a er being tld t leave) Visita n Sugges ns: Cnsider the fllwing in deciding when visita n shuld take place: Age f the child (fr example, if yur child is in schl, yu will want yur child returned hme in me fr hmewrk, bath, and bed me n schl nights). Think abut plans fr specific days f the week, weekends, hlidays, birthdays, summer vaca n and schl vaca ns. Keep in mind yur days ff frm wrk as well as the ther parent s days ff. Try t wrk arund each parent s emplyment schedule. 14) Lewdness Cnduct at the FRO Hearing Be respec ul t the judge. D nt interrupt the judge when he r she is speaking. Listen carefully t any ques ns the judge may ask yu and be sure t answer the ques n cmpletely and truthfully. If at any pint yu d nt understand a ques n, ask the judge t repeat r rephrase the ques n. Try t list the events frm mst recent t ldest. Dates and mes help, but yu d nt need t be exact. D nt frget t tell the judge if there have been prir acts f dmes c vilence. Indicate if yu 12 21

17 If yu chse a third party, pick smene with whm yur child feels safe and secure, and wh will aid in effec ve paren ng and visita n. Befre giving the name f the third party t the judge, be sure yu have already asked that persn t assist in supervising visita n. Yu shuld als have a plan, that yu feel cmfrtable with, as t where the visita n will take place. Neutral Pick-Up and Drp-Off Site: If yu dn t want the defendant t knw where yu are living r if yu feel that visita n exchanges may cause danger t yu and yur children if cnducted at yur residence, yu may ask the judge t rder a neutral pick-up and drp-ff site. Yu can chse a public place, like a plice sta n, a mall, anther persn s huse, a park, r any place where yu feel the exchange can be made safely by yurself r with the presence f a third party. Curbside Pick-Up and Drp-Off: If visita n is nt being supervised and the FRO frbids the defendant frm cntac ng yu, yu are en tled t have the children picked up and drpped ff at the curbside f yur residence. This requires the defendant t stay in the car, while the children walk frm yur dr t the car. If the children are t yung t d that by themselves, a third party f yur chsing may be needed t help escrt them frm yur dr t the defendant s car. have experienced physical, verbal, em nal, and/r sexual abuse. Tell the judge if yu are in fear f the defendant. Explain why yu are in fear. Present any witnesses yu may have. Ask them t describe in detail what they saw r heard. Witnesses can cme with yu t the curthuse, but will have t wait utside the curtrm when yu are giving tes mny. Shw the judge any physical evidence yu brught with yu, such as phts, answering machine recrdings, le ers, s, trn clthing, brken items, medical recrds, etc. Listen t the defendant s tes mny. D nt interrupt the defendant. The judge will tell yu when it is yur turn t respnd t the defendant s tes mny. Bring a pad and a pen, as yu may want t take ntes s yu d nt frget what yu want t say in respnse t the defendant. If the judge grants a Final Restraining Order, yu need t be prepared t ask the judge fr whatever ther relief yu are seeking with respect t supprt (financial issues), children (custdy r risk assessments fr pssible abuse), r ther special cncerns such as cunseling and/r drug/alchl treatment. Fr mre infrma n regarding the ther relief the judge can grant refer t page

18 Preparing Yurself t Tes fy At the hearing, yu will have an pprtunity t tell the curt what has happened. Befre yu appear in curt n the day f the hearing be sure t review yur tes mny. Cnsider what yu want t tell the judge. Try t remember the date(s) and me(s) f the incident(s). Write dwn imprtant wrds and mes that will help yu t remember yur tes mny. The judge will ask yu t discuss the mst recent incident f dmes c vilence first. A er yu have discussed the mst recent incident, the judge will likely ask yu t discuss any ther incidents f dmes c vilence. Try t list them in reverse rder (mst recent t ldest). Keep in mind that this means any incident f dmes c vilence, nt just nes that yu have reprted t the plice r resulted in previus restraining rders. Be sure t prvide as much descrip ve infrma n as pssible. Fr example, d nt simply say, He hit me. Instead, describe exactly what happened pain ng a mental picture fr the judge. Explain t the judge hw the incident began, but fcus n the par cular acts f vilence. Fr example, if the defendant was physically vilent with yu, specifically describe what happened: Risk Assessment: a curt-rdered evalua n f the defendant t determine the safety f the children while they are with the defendant. If yu suspect that the defendant abuses drugs r alchl, tell this t the judge s that it can be included in the risk assessment. The assessment als will evaluate the defendant s paren ng skills. If, thrugh the risk assessment, the curt determines that the children are at risk fr any frm f abuse while in the defendant s care, n visita n may be rdered. In addi n, the judge may rder the defendant t g t substance abuse r ba erer s cunseling. It s imprtant fr yu t n fy the curt f any danger yu feel visita n with the defendant wuld cause t yur children r t yurself. If a serius threat t safety can be shwn, the curt may rder n visita n. N Visita n: a curt rder that the defendant is nt t visit with the children because the judge determined that visita n wuld endanger the children because the defendant has been abusive r vilent tward them, has threatened t harm r take them frm yu, r has a histry f r is ac vely abusing substances like drugs r alchl. Supervised Visita n: a curt rder that the defendant nt be allwed t be alne when visi ng the children. Visita n may be supervised by either a trained cunselr r a third party whm yu help t select. Tell the judge which type f supervisin yu prefer. Please nte that if yu chse t have visita n supervised by a cunselr, visita n will take place at an ffice r the curthuse

19 the public assistance system and then start t receive supprt payments frm the defendant, pr ns f thse payments will have t be repaid t TANF directly. If yu are already receiving TANF and need mre infrma n abut hw child supprt payments frm the defendant will affect yu, cntact yur casewrker. If defendant hit yu, did he hit yu with a clsed r pen fist? Did yu fall? Hit a wall? Were yu n a bed r cuch? Did the defendant break r destry anything? Did yu put up yur hands t prtect yurself? Child Visita n If yu and the defendant have children tgether, yu need t think abut what visita n arrangements will wrk best fr yu and the children. Unless the defendant has been abusive tward the children, has threatened t harm r abduct them, r has a histry f substance abuse, the judge is likely t grant visita n t the defendant. Remember, abuse can be physical, em nal, r psychlgical. If yu feel that yur child may be in danger f any type f abuse, yu may ask the judge t rder either n visita n r supervised visita n. Yu may als ask the judge t rder a risk assessment. Each f these is discussed belw. Did yu require medical a en n? Were the children present during the incident? Did the defendant threaten yur life? Did the defendant threaten t take r harm the children? Have there been incidents like this in the past? Has there been sexual abuse? Verbal/em nal abuse? If yu are in fear f the defendant, make sure t tell the curt that. Be ready t tell the curt specifically why yu are afraid f the defendant, including anything he has said r dne that has made yu feel afraid. Althugh yu will nt be allwed t read ff yur ntes during the trial, yu may want t jt dwn a list f key wrds/events that will help yu remember what t say. The judge cannt talk abut mney r custdy, un l a er he r she decides t grant a final restraining rder. Yu will have an pprtunity then t tell the judge what yur expenses are and what yu believe the defendant s incme is. Infrma n n preparing fr this part f the hearing fllws n the next several pages

20 Financial Supprt and Child Custdy If the judge grants yu a final restraining rder he r she will als cnsider tw ther imprtant issues: Financial Supprt and Child Custdy. Althugh the judge will usually ask abut these tw things, yu shuld raise these issues yurself if the judge des nt. When children are invlved, the New Jersey Preven n f Dmes c Act advises the curt t presume that the nnabusive parent shuld receive custdy. The judge must then determine the issues f supprt and visita n. Financial Supprt In rder t set an apprpriate amunt f financial supprt fr yu and any children yu have with the defendant, the judge will need infrma n abut yur finances. The fllwing list suggests the type f infrma n yu shuld bring with yu t curt fr the FRO hearing. Prf f incme fr yurself and the defendant (if yu have access t the defendant s infrma n): pay stubs, W-2 frms, 1099 frms, prir year s incme tax return Rent r mrtgage bills U lity bills (gas, electric, telephne, etc.) A budget f yur weekly expenses fr items such as fd, clthing, medical csts, r any ther living expenses Phtgraphs and repair bills r es mates fr any prperty damaged by the defendant. Supprt Payment Prcedures Curt-rdered child supprt payments are managed by the cunty prba n department t ensure that the defendant pays the supprt bliga n. The defendant s emplyer, thrugh wage a achment, will send the payment t Prba n, which will then frward a check t yu. Hwever, it may take at least 4-6 weeks fr Prba n t set up yur accunt. As a temprary remedy, yu may ask the judge t rder direct pay, which means that the defendant must send the payment t yu directly un l wage a achment is in effect. Yu may als ask fr strict prba n, which means that if the defendant misses tw cnsecu ve payments, a bench warrant can be issued fr the defendant s arrest. If yu d nt receive child supprt thrugh Prba n within 4-6 weeks, cntact the prba n department t check n the status f yur accunt. If the defendant fails t make the payments, yu shuld file a m n in Family Curt fr enfrcement f the rder. If a lawyer represented yu fr the FRO hearing, cntact yur lawyer fr assistance if these issues arise. It may take several weeks befre yu receive any mney frm the defendant. If yu are unable t manage financially n yur wn, yu may need t seek public assistance thrugh yur cunty bard f services. Yur cunty bard f services, thrugh the Temprary Assistance t Needy Families (TANF) prgram, can prvide yu with financial supprt un l Prba n can secure regular supprt payments fr yu and yur children. Yu shuld be aware that in sme cases, public assistance is similar t a lan that must be repaid. Fr example, if yu u lize 16 17