PAUL: WRITTEN ANALYTICAL ARGUMENT (ESSAY)

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2 Essay Australia would be better off as a Republic I believe Australia would be better off as a Republic. If we were to become a Republic we would need an Australian leader like a Aboriginal because they were the first/original culture to roam the whole of Australia. Yes I believe that Australian s should stand on our own two feet. We should not be ruled by the Queen who lives in Britain. we have progressed and Grown. (The case of voting Yes) The Queen has got to much on her hands looking after Britain and Australia + her family. The Queen should only look after Britain. Its time to have our own head of state (IBid) because we have grown up and our own people should have the right to vote for a Australian leader. Lots of Australian families think that they will loss It would not change the number of public holidays but nothing will change only the way people look at us as a Republic Nation. Australia will also continue to compete in the commonwealth Games. That is why most the time when Australia s vote they vote for it to stay like it is now. Yes I think Australia would be better of as a Republic. The Queen would not take us first if we were introuble and Britain would come first not us. Page 2

3 Genre: achieving different purposes level of scaffolding independently written using notes provided on how to write an essay 8 schematic structure title, statement of position, arguments and conclusion organises the text: rhetorical questions: What are the best strategies? conjunctions: First, Next, Finally, In addition noun group in place of conjunctions: Another reason, One of the main arguments, The principle cause of the increase phrases and dependent clauses of cause: As a result of the rain, Struggling to survive, Despite his poor health phrases and dependent clauses of time, place, manner: Born in 1898, When we had finished, With great care non-finite clauses: Selecting a topic topic words: Antarctica, Pollution action verbs (in procedures): Slice, Boil existential subject to introduce new information: There interpersonal elements: Personally, Obviously, In fact, It is apparent layout: subheadings, diagrams, pictures topic words: Australia, The Queen, Lots of Australian families interpersonal: I believe, Yes I believe, Yes I think layout: new line to mark quotation builds cohesion: reference items: my, it, they, him, the, this, these, all of the above, such examples vocabulary patterns - synonyms / antonyms - words that go together: lodge complaint - word sets: gene, inherit, hereditary, dominant, recessive - classification: teeth - canines, molars, premolars, incisors - composition (whole-part): tooth - enamel, dentine, pulp, nerve conjunctions to join sentences: Next, So, Therefore, Hence, Conversely reference items: I, we, a, an, they, the, our, her, its (it s), our own, that, us vocabulary patterns - synonyms/antonyms: Aboriginal/first/original culture, leader/the Queen/head of state/australian leader - words that go together: head of state, better off, looking after, grown up - word sets: Republic, head of state, leader, vote, change, ruled, the Queen, Republic(an) Nation - classification: Nation - Britain, Australia joins clauses to expand information: linking conjunctions: and, or, so, and then binding conjunctions: because, if, since, when, so / so that, whenever, though relative clauses: The Suez Canal, which was completed in 1869, non-finite clauses: The team, having seen the results, felt, Having seen the results, the team, To improve the final product projections: Scientists claim that exercise prolongs life. linking: and, also, but binding: if, when, because, like, only (except) relative clauses: the Queen who lives in Britain (the Queen, who lives in Britain) non-finite clauses: to roam the whole of Australia, looking after Britain and Australia + her family, the right to vote for a (an) Australian leader, to compete in the commonwealth Games projections: I believe that Australian s should stand, Lots of Australian families think that they will loss (lose) Page 3

4 Field: expressing ideas and experiences noun groups: numbers, describers, classifiers, qualifiers: television, a book, the pencil, all day, the children in the water, the children living in the city, The medical discovery that has had the most impact comparatives: funnier, slower, more beautiful, best an Australian leader like a (an) Aboriginal, the first/original culture to roam the whole of Australia, our own two feet, the Queen who lives in Britain, own head of state, the right to vote for a (an) Australian leader, Lots of Australian families, the number of public holidays, the way people look at us better 8 nominalisations: likelihood, growth, development, beauty, risk, government, capability, potential leader, the case verbs: action: subtract, peered, scanned, demolish mental (sensing): knew, believe, understood, enjoyed, hated saying: said, laughed, shouted, stated, asserted relational: are, became, has, consists of, represents, means verbal groups: wanted to improve, tried estimating phrasal verbs: fell in with the wrong crowd, look it up, put up with, put off, put out action: roam, lives, progressed, grown, stand, ruled, loss (lose), change, take, come mental (sensing): believe, need, think relational: become, were, has got, have, stay, is verbal groups: continue to compete phrasal verbs: look after, be better off, have grown up, to vote for, look at causal relations: verbs: led to, brought on nouns: the result of the floods, the cause of the injury phrases: because of the heat, in spite of the rain dependent clauses: because the weather was bad, owing to the cyclone threat, if the cyclone hits, in order to end the suffering dependent clauses: If we were to become a Republic, because they were the first/original culture, because we have grown up, when Australia s vote, if we were introuble (in trouble), That is why circumstances and clauses: when: in 1614, when he arrived where: at the sign, standing on stage how: carefully, with great care, like a leopard with whom / what: with his friend, with their belongings when: most (of) the time, when Australia s vote, now, first where: in Britain, in the commonwealth Games how: as a Republic, as a Republic Nation, on our own two feet metaphors: get it off your chest stand on our own two feet, too much on her hands technical vocabulary: digest, high sugar levels, niacin quoting and referencing: direct speech: The police officer said, There were no injuries. reported speech: The manager of the team said that they were referencing: Scientists believe that, According to the weather bureau, Studies have shown Australia, Republic, original culture, head of state, the right to vote referencing: uses direct quotes and attempts to use referencing conventions to indicate some document including using IBid (Ibid), last quote not sourced at all Page 4

5 Tenor: interacting with others speech functions: statements, questions, offers, commands subjectivity / objectivity: subjective: In my opinion objective: The response of the prime minister series of statements expressed through mostly accurate simple, compound and complex sentences subjective: I believe, Lots of Australian families think objective: Australia will also continue to compete 8 modality: certainty: possibly, it suggests, tend to, might be able to, I am sure, will obligation: necessarily, must, demand, they forced frequency: tendency, typical, always inclination: like, willing, preference certainty: believe, think, would, will, would not obligation: need, should frequency: most (of) the time interpersonal meaning: feelings, attitudes: It s beautiful, very, rude, just, only, luckily, unfortunately, importance, outstanding idioms, colloquialisms, euphemisms, humour culturally specific references: dressed in black names to refer to people feelings, attitudes: yes, better off, first/original culture, our own two feet, too much, only, nothing, change, loss (lose), trouble idioms, colloquialisms: stand on our own two feet, to (too) much on her hands cultural references: Commonwealth Games names: The Queen appropriateness of tenor tenor is subjective and inclusive of the reader as a fellow Australian appropriate for an argument of this kind, although the use of Yes, is more appropriate for a speech Page 5

6 Mode: creating spoken and written texts tenses: primary: past, present, future secondary: other tenses eg was sleeping, wanted to go, haven t played, was going to have to play passive voice: active: The heavy rainfall led to some minor flooding. passive: Minor flooding was caused by the heavy rain. primary - past: were - present: believe, lives, has (got), have, think, look at, is, vote, were - future: will loss (lose), will change secondary - accurate: would be, were to become, would need, should stand, have progressed, should look after, have grown up, should have, would not change, will continue to compete, would not take, would come passive: should not be ruled by uses passive accurately and effectively to foreground Australians 8 / 9 foregrounding: referencing: According to the statistics, As shown in the data abstract elements: The destruction of the habitat conjunctions including those in second place: Success, on the other hand, phrases and dependent clauses of cause phrases and dependent clauses of time, place, manner including consecutive phrases of time, place: In Canberra in 1975 non-finite clauses non-human elements: The lathe, Koalas human elements: specific We, general People action verbs: Draw existential subject to introduce new information interpersonal elements cause: If we were to become a Republic, That is why non-human: Australia, It human: We, The Queen, Lots of Australian families existential: Its (It is) interpersonal: I believe, Yes I believe, Yes I think appropriateness of foregrounding foregrounding of mainly human participants and on two occasions Yes is less appropriate for a written argument than it is for a spoken text coherence: introduction, topic sentences and conclusion, and the links between them statement of position clearly signals the writer s point of view but introduction does not predict the content of the paragraphs that follow, simple topic sentences signal the content of the paragraph though quotes are not well linked, simple conclusion restates position but then introduces a new point print conventions: handwriting: letter formation, spacing, direction spelling: link to pronunciation and visual patterns, spelling common and uncommon words, using prefixes and suffixes punctuation: capitals, fullstops, question marks, commas, speech marks, apostrophes, semicolons, dashes, links to intonation abbreviations: cm, 2nd, eg handwriting: legible spelling: most words accurate though some confusion with homonyms to / too and word form loss / lose punctuation: basic punctuation accurate most of the time, apostrophes of possession but not of contraction, quotations with some accuracy multimedia / multimodal: links between gestures, visual images, sound, light, layout, tables, spoken text and print text Page 6