COMPREHENSION/EXPRESSION REVIEW EXERCIZES 1. Read the following essay and try to correct the 20 mistakes Voting to elect public officials is one of the most invaluable right available to a citizen in a democratic society. The act of expressing a preference for certain candidates enable individuals to exercise their collective power in electing representatives who truly stand for their interests. Through voting, people realize the basic principles of democracy and establish a government of the people, by the people and for the people. In countries where voting is a compulsory duty of every citizen, voter turnout is between 70% and 90%. In addition, voter turnout in the U.S. is only 50%. That is because U.S. government not only does not require people to vote but also it places a number of restrictions on voter eligibility. Unlike in other western democracies, registering to vote is not easy in the U.S. To make matters worse, elections are made on a Tuesday, which is a workday for most Americans. Unless these known causes of low voter turnout are dealt with, citizens of the U.S. will not be truly represented by their elected leaders. Voter registration is one of the obstacles a voter have to overcome in order to vote. An eligible voter cannot vote without first registering. This places an added burden on eligible voters because those who forget or failed to register are unable to cast their votes. Studies have shown that voter turnout start to decline after registration was instituted. Interestingly, the U.S. is not the only democracy that has a registration requirement; other western countries also require voters to register. The different is, in countries with higher voter turnout, registering voters is the responsibility of the government, whereas in the U.S. it is the individual's responsablity. Also, the time and locations of registration are not well publicized, and many people do not know when and where to register. In addition registration laws in the U.S. are established by state governments, and some states have laws that make difficult for citizens to qualify because they have to prove eligibility by having lived at a certain location for a certain length of time, usually between 30 and 50 days. It is obvious that the voter registration system in the U.S. is outdated, it is in need of a major overhaul. Elections in the U.S. take place on a tuesday. This is when citizens elect a president who will hold the highest public office, as well as a number of senators, House representatives and other public officials. Yet, this important day of exercising a vital democracy right falls on a workday, and as a result, there are many Americans who are unable to leave work to cast their ballot. Many other democracies that encourage people to vote by designating a national holiday for elections or by doing elections on weekends have a very high voter turnout. In the U.S., the difficulty of registering to vote, added to the fact that major elections are held on a workday, refuses many people from voting. To increase voter turnout, the U.S. government should do the same as other western democracies and give people a holiday on which they can cast their votes at leisure. Clearly, a 50% voter turnout shows a democracy in crisis. It means that half the population of the country have no say in the government. Government that represents less than 50% of the people cannot be called a government of the people. Instead of the various state laws regarding voter registration; some of which are unnecessarily complicated, there should be an effective system of automatic nationwide voter registration. Also, a holiday should be set aside to major elections so that voters wouldn't have to choose between voting and staying at work 1
Tips on Editing an Essay Are there any missing words? There is one such mistake in the essay. Have you used correct singular and plural words? There is one such mistake in the essay. Do the subject and verb agree in number? Check for subject-verb agreement. There are three such mistakes in the essay Are words spelled correctly? There are two such mistakes in the essay. Does each sentence end with a period, a question mark or an exclamation mark? Are commas, semicolons, etc. used correctly? Use complete sentences. Make sure there are no fragments or run-ons. There are two punctuation mistakes in the essay. Have you used 's, s', or ' to mark possessives? There is one such mistake in the essay. Are your verb phrases correct? Make sure you have used the right helping verb if one is needed, and the correct verb form (base, simple past, present participle /ing/, past participle, 3rd person singular). Have you used the correct form of the word (noun, adjective, verb, or adverb)? There are two such mistakes in the essay. Are your verb tenses correct? Make sure not to switch from one tense to another without there being a marker or a reason to do so. There are two such mistakes in the essay. Have you used correct word order? Be especially careful with direct and indirect questions and make sure adjective clauses go next to the noun they modify. Have you used the right prepositions? There is one such mistake in the essay. Have you used the correct articles? There are two such mistakes in the essay. Have you used words whose meanings you are not quite certain about? Use a dictionary or a thesaurus to help you use the right words. There are four incorrectly used words in the essay. 2. Writing cohesive paragraphs In well-written paragraphs, sentences seem to flow smoothly from one idea to the next. This is referred to as cohesion. Cohesion is achieved by: using a variety of sentence structures and lengths. using appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas. repeating the key ideas of the paragraph by: 1) repeating the key word(s), 2) using related synonyms, 3) using pronouns to refer back to the key idea(s), and 4) using the demonstratives this, that, these and those followed by a noun. 2
Put the following sentences in a logical order A. Elections in the US take place on a Tuesday B. One negative effect of the community notification law is that a sex offender whose residence in a community is well known may be subject to harassment or physical harm by the public. 3. What is wrong with the following paragraphs? Paragraph 1 Required service in the armed forces would create a military made up of members from all walks of life. Minorities and the less privileged are overrepresented in our nation's voluntary military. The privileged class is underrepresented in our nation's voluntary military. Military service is voluntary, and the burden of military service unfairly falls on minority groups and the poor. Minorities make up more than 37% of the military. But they only make up 35% of the population of the United States. African-Americans make up more than 22% of the armed forces personnel. But they make up only 12% of the population nationwide. These racial 3
imbalances put minorities at a greater risk of being killed or injured during times of war. The middle and upper classes have largely avoided military service in the last few decades. All Americans must share the burden and honor of defending America. The mandatory draft of World War II had a democratizing effect on the military and the nation as a whole. A universal draft would create a more cohesive America, with rich and poor, minorities and Whites all serving together. Paragraph 2 Providing prisoners with educational opportunities reduces recidivism and saves society money. It is cheaper in the long run than re-incarcerating offenders who have not received an education. Educating a prisoner in New York costs an estimated $2,500 per inmate annually. Incarcerating one individual costs approximately $25,000 annually. A study on prison college education found that every dollar spent on education resulted in $1.71 in reduced crime costs. The cost-benefit of reducing recidivism is realized as soon as prisoners who have received an education while in prison are released. There is the benefit of these individuals obtaining work, paying taxes, and contributing to the general economy. Rather than increasing costs to the taxpayer, educating prisoners offers both financial and societal benefits. Paragraph 3 Voting in the U.S. takes place on a Tuesday. This is the day citizens vote for the president, as well as a number of senators, House representatives and other public officials. Yet, this important day of voting falls on a workday, and as a result, there are many Americans who are unable to leave work to vote. Many other democracies that have very high voter turnout rates designate a national holiday for voting or allow citizens to vote on weekends. In the U.S., the difficulty of registering to vote, coupled with the fact that voting is done on a workday, discourages many people from voting. To increase voter turnout, the U.S. government should do the same as its western counterparts and give people a holiday on which they can vote at leisure. 4. PARAGRAPH STRUCTURE : correct the following text In Support of the Death Penalty One afternoon in 1994, Megan Kanka, a little girl of 7, was riding her bicycle outside her home in New Jersey when a neighbor asked her if she wanted to see his new puppy. He then took her into his home, raped her, and strangled her with a belt. The man, a twice-convicted sex-offender called Jesse Timmendequas, was sentenced to death in 1997. For gruesome murders like this, the death penalty is the only appropriate punishment. Justice is served only when the death penalty is given to a criminal who has cruelly taken the life of another person. Besides, there is no doubt that by executing those who murder innocent victims in cold blood, society can prevent future murders. Also, the appeals system that is in place today for defendants in death penalty cases and the availability of advanced forensic technology and DNA analysis have dramatically reduced the possibility of executing the innocent by mistake. Therefore, society should continue to apply the ultimate punishment to deal with the most heinous crime. Capital punishment is not the way to maintain the balance of justice. This balance is disturbed whenever a criminal takes the life of another person, and it can be restored only if the same is done to the killer as he has done to his victim. Moreover, the loved ones of the victim get closure to their suffering when the cause of their pain is removed. For a crime as vicious as murder, the death penalty is the only fitting retribution. As Robert Macy, District Attorney of Oklahoma City put it, allowing predators who murder the innocent to live out the 4
rest of their lives "in some prison with three meals a day, clean sheets, cable TV, family visits and endless appeals" is just unfair. There are some individuals that forfeit their right to life by the sheer evilness of their actions. They deserve to die. No other punishment deters future murders as the death penalty does because people fear death more than anything else. As Professor Ernest van den Haage, professor of jurisprudence at Fordham University, argues, people especially fear "death deliberately inflicted by law and scheduled by the courts." Throughout history, there have been a variety of methods used for carrying out the death penalty, such as the gas chamber, the electric chair, and more recently the lethal injection. Society should make use of this fear and apply the death penalty in order to prevent murder. There have been some inconclusive studies which claim that the fear of being given the death penalty has no deterrent effect on murder. However, even if there is some truth to these studies, it is because the death sentence is rarely given, and even when it is, the actual execution is carried out too late to be a lesson for potential murderers. Only if a punishment is swift does it serve as a powerful deterrent. Even if one has doubts about preventing future murders by means of the death penalty, one cannot deny the simple fact that a killer that is killed will never kill again. Opponents of the death penalty argue that innocent people might be killed by mistake. However, advances in technology and the close review of death penalty cases by appellate courts have made that fear unwarranted. Mistakes made in relation to court procedures, evidence and witness testimony are very likely to be discovered by a higher court that handles the appeal. Furthermore, advances in forensic technology, particularly DNA testing, have provided law enforcement agencies of today with foolproof crime-solving methods. Therefore, while a handful of innocent people may mistakenly be executed each year, most of those who receive the death penalty are indeed guilty and deserving of the ultimate punishment. To sum up, a society that is faced with the terrible reality of senseless murders should make use of the death penalty to remove dangerous killers from its midst. By executing those who kill, society teaches a lesson to potential murderers and preserves the balance of justice. Besides, killing the killer of an innocent victim lessens the pain of the victim's family and relatives. Fortunately, we live in a time when a meticulously organized criminal justice system and advanced crime-solving technology have made the possibility of errors almost nonexistent. Therefore, we should use the death penalty to punish murderers. 5
Tips for Writing Well-Structured Body Paragraphs Make sure the topic sentence expresses the main idea and controls the scope of the body paragraph. Make sure that every sentence in the paragraph relates to the topic sentence that your paragraph has unity. Be certain that all the sentences in the paragraph are arranged in a logical order that your paragraph has coherence. Check that the sentences in your paragraph flow smoothly from one idea to the next that your paragraph has cohesion. You can achieve cohesion by using a variety of sentence structures and lengths, using appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas, repeating the key ideas of the paragraph by: repeating the key word(s) using related synonyms using pronouns to refer back to the key idea(s) using the demonstratives this, that, these and those followed by a noun. Make certain that your body paragraph ends with a concluding statement that refers back to the topic sentence and provides closure to the paragraph. 6